Sunday, October 24, 2010

~What do you do?~

What do you do when nobody understands you?
What do you do when you feel completely alone in a sea of immaturity?
What do you do when you're the only one growing, and everyone else is stuck in middle school?
What do you do when that one person is always there to mess everything up?
Seriously... What do you do??????

From the 1st day of Sophmore year till now, I've felt all these feelings and more. And, the same question always seems to flow back into my head. I'm sure you can guess what that question is... "What do you do?" I feel completely trapped in the "Cage of the Unsocial." I have the potential to be social, hang out with people all the time, and make good friends. But, because of where I am, a little, private, Christian school, I've been shoved into a catagory that does anything but reflect my personality. I'm not like most people. I have a wide range of interests. Music is my passion as well as anything artistic, such as well.. art, photography, and modeling, one of my main goals is to make people feel like they're appreciated and loved, even if I don't know them well, and I love God! I have a funny way of showing my emotions as far as relationships go, and with guys... have had no success with them. Not that I concider myself old or mature enough to be involved in a serious relationship. That would be stupid, (although it's something my "friends" always do). Notice I put quotations around the word friends? Why's that you ask? Well, that would be because, my friends are Nothing like me,  they have never understood me, and lately they haven't paid any attention to me whatsoever! Too preoccupied with, you'll never guess, BOYS! But not just any boys... boys that you just make you want to ship them off to Cambodia and never see again. Boys that make you want to rip your hair out! Boys you absolutely cannot stand! Ok I'm basically referring to one person. But this guy is responsible for changing my friend into a completely different person, hiding her away from basically the entire world (meaning nobody but him hangs out with her anymore), and basically ruining my sophmore year. Because this friend of mine was the only person who slightly understood me, but now she's so moody, grouchy, and snappy. He brings out the worst in her and i never get to talk to her. He's changed her into someone I do not like, to the point where i don't even care if I can't hang out with her anymore. He's ruined everything for me. And everyone else around me? Well, I'm just dome with them. They're immaturity gets worse everytime I see them. 
So... What's a girl to do in this situation?

Solution #1: Pray! Pray! Pray!
Solution #2 (that could tie in with solution 1): Switch schools.

I'm seriously considering leaving my school. I don't think that I can feel this way anymore. I need a blank slate that I can fill in with good experiences and great friends. Lately the only thing I feel is alone. It's not too fun if you ask me. But there may be more solutions that I never thought of! Any suggestion? Comment and let me know! :)

Until Next Time!


  1. Hi,
    I am probably the age of your parents or maybe grandparents but I remember where you are comming from. I like you love art, photography and yes Fashion. I am a visual artist. I paint watercolor and Pastel and one of my boys blows glass.
    We all feel alone at times and I have to say my only true friend has been my husband. I have always found that my girlfriends have let me down so I have learned that you have to be true to yourself and what you believe in.
    Only you can make you feel the way you do because God gave us free choice and we deside how we are going to react to the situations that present themselves to us.
    Look at each problem in your life as an opportunity to grow both spiritualy and emotionaly.
    Remember we are all part of this greater being so you have the strength to be and do whatever you set your mind to.
    My blog is called

  2. Thank you so much for that Jocelyn, that's very encouraging. It's good to finally hear from someone who can relate to how I'm feeling. God Bless!